Where to Start… Part One

Discovering that your into BDSM isn’t usually the hard part, however trying to explore and get involved in the scene that is scary. Not scary in the clowns sort of way, there is an abundance of information. How does one start? Where do you start? What are the rules? How do you stay safe while exploring?

The first is read up about it, and no not fictional books. While I do know several authors who do live the lifestyle and include aspects of their lifestyle into their books. However, there are other books that many people recommend. I’ve included a list below, but please know there are lots more of books. If you go through this list and want me, feel free to email me. I’ve included links below to Amazon in the title.

BDSM Primer – A Woman’s Guide to BDSM – Fetishes, Roles, Rituals, Protocols, Safety, & More by Elizabeth Cramer
Care and Nurture for the Submissive by Elizabeth Cramer
Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Philip Miller
SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Adventures by Janet W. Hardy
The Loving Dominant by John Warren
The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy
The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy
The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by by Tristan Taormino

Then there are websites, internet is everywhere and easily accessible. It can be amazing but it can also be a endless pit of information and difficult to find exactly what you are looking for. To help provide a flashlight to help the search, I’ve included some of my favorite sites below.

Albany Power Exchange Articles
BDSM Backroom
Dominant Guide
Fetlife
Leather & Roses
Submissive Guide
The Iron Gate: BDSM Resource and Knowledge Database


I’ve included Fetlife in there because it’s a great resource, but it can be really intimidating and overwhelming at first. It can also be a bit scary, so many people hidden behind keyboards. Which is why there will be a part two be about Fetlife and related websites. How to navigate, how to be safe, etc…

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