First Impressions of BDSM

Words associated with BDSM

If you ask most people the first one that comes to mind when they think of BDSM, its varied but usually along the same lines.
“Pain.” “Domination.” “Pleasure.” “Spanking.” “Rope.” “Submission.” “Kink.”

flogger7Depending on what the first word comes to mind can influence what they think about it. For a lot of people they think pain. One person spanking another, one person flogging another, another using nipple clamps. Here’s the mind-blowing part of that, you can be involved in BDSM and not be into pain. Strange right? What if I told you, you can be in a scene and not feel a single ounce of pain. It seems impossible? It’s not, while I enjoy pain in high amounts, I also enjoy times when it’s all about pleasure. Not just sexual either. I’ve had a scene where not one ounce of pain was given and I still flew high at the end of the scene. Another thing is, there are different kinds of pain. You may not like canes, but a light smack on your ass in the middle of an orgasm is perfect. Is there a right or wrong kind? As long as you enjoy it, no. No one is going to judge you for not liking pain or for liking it too much. Different people react to things differently. I’m sensitive on the back of my neck and shoulder area, and love a pain bite there. I mean I see teeth marks for a couple of days bite. A cane on the inside of my thighs, yes please.For others just a gentle tug on their hair is as much pain as they wish to experience.

bdsm-safety-guideAnother word that pops up commonly is rope or being tied up. It’s the same principle, not everyone likes rope. I only allow a person I’ve played with and that I trust 100% to use rope and tie me up. If it’s just a scene for one night with a person I know a bit, there will be no rope. What is the interest in rope though you ask. It’s not about the rope. It’s about what you are giving, you are giving your movements to someone else. You are trusting them with your immovability. You are seeking comfort the rope, its binding powers. While you are in that rope, nothing else matters. With each know of the rope, you seek deeper into the zone. You can choose to have a little or as lot of rope as you wish. I know some people who only like their hands and feet bound. However, I saw a scene once where it started with the girl on the ground. By the end of it every joint in her body was supported by rope and she was suspended in the air. It was beautiful. Her face by the time she was suspended was one of complete peace. Me I would be figidity and probably end of having the urge to need to pee and be set loose. Or I would have a case of giggles.

protectSubmission, that means giving everything up to the control of another person right? It means you have no say so over what is going on? It means they can degrade, humiliate you, and whatever else they want? No. No. And No. You hear submission and you may think it’s giving over all your power, but in truth you have all the power. You are making the choice to submit to your Dom. You set the hard limits, the type of play interested in, and you have your safeword. You may think it’s just you laying there and your Dom being a puppeteer and doing with you as he likes. It’s not. I mean it can be if you give him that power, but it’s your choice. Just like because someone is a Dom doesn’t mean they are your Dom. Anyone can say they are a Dom, but a real Dom doesn’t need to. You already know. Are all Dominant tall, marine tattooed looking dudes? Nope, they could be they cute lanky computer nerd over there. It could be that quiet librarian lady.

Can you guess what I am trying to say? Every single person in BDSM is different. Some like to be school girls, some like to ponies, some like to be brats, some like to be used, some like sensation play, some are pain sluts, etc. Some Doms are military, some are the quiet guy behind you, some Doms wear leather, some wear suits, some wear nothing at all. Some submissive are guys, some are women, some have tattoos, some have piercings, some are the person beside you in church. 😉 Some like silence when they play, some like music, I like music. Some like to be watched playing and others prefer to keep it private.

It is what you want it to be. As long as you are consenting adults, there is no wrong or right way to BDSM. It can be just hair pulling and a smack on the ass. Or it can be a duffle bag full of floggers, canes, paddles, nipple clamps, etc. Maybe one day you’ll get a peek of mine… But well that is for a later date.

Be safe. Be consensual. And Fuck what people think. Need a hand to hold while adventuring, hold mine. I won’t let go. Give in to your desires. Give in to pleasure. Give in to making the problems of the world go away on the sounds of a moan. Give in to yourself.

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