BDSM Checklist: What is it? What’s the Purpose? Who Should Use One?

The proper thing any Dom should do before you start playing is give you a checklist to go over. This should go together with negotiations. It gives the Dom an idea of your likes, your experience level, and you interest in think you want to try. The most important thing is to be honest to yourself. If you aren’t honest to yourself you are putting you and your Dom at risk. There are no right or wrong answers, only honest ones. You won’t be judged and well the first reaction is to be embarrassed – don’t. You are a consenting adult.

Do you need to fill this out every time you play with someone, that is your decision. However if you are going to enter into a D/s relationship this checklist is a must. If you are just playing someone for a night mention your hard limits and things that are a definitely yes for you. For example if I am just a scene with someone for a night, they are not allowed to use rope in a binding nature on hands and feet. Only people I build trust with get to do that after an established time frame. However things like mummification are a hard limit regardless of the trust built or how long I’ve known them. This will cause a full-fledged panic attack.

If there is something you don’t know what it is, first ask your Dom or another person in the scene you trust. Do not google it, the internet is scary and it can scare you without even being properly informed. I did this once for “sounding”, it was scary. I am pretty sure I am still scared from it. Don’t be embarrassed if you don’t know what something is, there are tons of kink. There is always something new to learn. Also as you grow into your journey into kink your answers may change with some things. When I started canes would have been an absolute NO for me. Now however, I’m addicted. I was curious about them and had someone I trust introduce them to me.

If there are only a handful of things you like or are interested in, that’s okay. It isn’t a contest. It’s okay if you aren’t into face punching or being peed on, one kink does not fit all. However, please don’t cast judgment or make comments about the things you aren’t into.

There are several different forms of the checklist below. None of them are wrong and none of them are the BE ALL. The one below is a bit easier to understand band breaks things down easier. Some list can be overwhelming and can have a list of over 1,000 things. Those can be intimidating.

The one below is great and came from: http://sweetsurrender.org/list.html

However is a list of some other ones for reference

The one below is small in the viewer, however if you click on it will open in full size in a new tab.

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