Ah those damn masochistic tendencies, now most people may look at me and go wtf is wrong with you. My dear, not a damn thing. To the day to day vanilla masochism is strange, it’s the taboo, it’s the thing that use to be able to put you in the loony bin. You enjoy pain, off you go!
However the pain from stubbing your toe and being flogged by your Dom/Domme are completely different. I don’t walk around stubbing my toe and then having a major orgasm, but man that would make it better. No when I stub my toe or break something I curse like a sailor and grab the ice pack and curl up in bed. It’s not a good feeling
Now a good belt being struck across my ass in a dance, now that will make me moan like a 50cent hooker. (no offense) The harder the better and the more I mentally soar. The pain from canes, belts, rulers, tawse, dragon tails, paddles, hands, you get the idea and I love it. The whole I’m going to spank you thing is rarely ever a punishment well unless they cane the back of my knees but even then it takes around 20 whacks before I am all you mutherfucker stop it…okay sometimes. If I am leaned over a bench he can do it until his/her arm tires.
You ask – “Why do I enjoy pain like this?” I don’t know… “Why do you like the color blue,” I just do. Also I am submissive at heart, I know doing this pleases my Dom I know he enjoys it, I know he enjoys the canvas of my bare skin and the fun in turning it to a bright pink and red. With pretty little bruise everywhere. There is a fine line between pain and pleasure. However, after a while the line blurs and the bleed into one another. It silences all the bullshit from the day, it silences all doubts, it silences your mind. There are days when alcohol, anxiety meds, reading, music – nothing can touch the noise the day or life has created. It had reached a point where you need to submit to it at the hand of your Dom, because you trust them to read your body’s response and know when everything is silent.
At the end of it – the pain and marks pleases my Dom and that feeds my masochistic tendencies. Once you start embracing those tendencies – as I’ve told a friend, it’s a drug that you’ve got under your skin and you’ll never get it out. However, the flogging it brings it to the surface and you get high off of it. When those tendencies build up without any release you feel the itch. It becomes a beast craving to be fed, you think about it, you dream about it…it demands its pound of flesh. It becomes so demanding that just seeing an instrument such as a belt sends chills down your spine.
I’m not ashamed of them and if you have them – don’t be. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.